The boundaries that we create around us pretty much serve as our energetic containers. They are the gatekeepers that determine how much of our energy goes out, and what we allow in.
Ideally, the gatekeepers are making their decisions in the best interests of your Higher Self. But more realistically, they are under the influences of the Ego and the guise of Self-Limiting Beliefs.
Understanding where your boundaries are weakly protected is the first step in addressing them. Some important questions to explore are:
Who or what violates your perimeters?
Is there an area of your life or relationship that makes you feel powerless?
What is making you feel drained that should also be filling you up?
Now imagine that you have a clear boundary between you and this person or behavior, and YOU are in control. You have the power and authority to say, "no," because THAT is what is aligned to your highest good.
Exercise: Exploring personal boundaries through writing.
Part 1
Before you begin, I recommend you spend a few moments in meditation and gentle movement to get yourself centered and the energy flowing. Scan your body and identify any areas of tension and bring breath to those spaces.
Once you settle into stillness, ask your (higher) self: "Who do I need to set personal boundaries with that serves my best (and highest) interest?"
Now write freely about it; go beyond the name(s) and explore in what ways you are being affected by the exchange of energy in this relationship.
Is there something that keeps you from doing this? Sometimes you get so USED to the dynamic of relationships that you don't question it, even when it's draining and no longer serving you.
Are the needs of this person more important than your own?
Do you feel guilt or shame at the thought of setting the boundaries that you KNOW you need to come back to your light and your truth? These, my friend, are sure signs that it's time to let that shit go.
Part 2
Imagine you have now have all the courage and self-love that you need to put your needs first, and do the work to release the limiting beliefs holding you back. What does your life look like now?
Write about this. Be creative. Don't hold back.
Repeat this exercise with behaviors or things that you need to set boundaries around for the same reasons. Maybe it's your work, the news, social media, even watching movies or shows that are entertaining, but drama-inducing!
What, instead, can you put your energy into that lights you up? How would your life be different if you shifted your energy in this way?
Write, write, and write some more.
How do you feel about this? Is it scary to think that you have THIS much control over your life and your joy? GOOD! That means we're on the right track.
This topic comes up SO much in my community that I put together an Online Masterclass to help others called Don't Kill My Vibe. Here's what some participants are saying:
"Taking Alyssa’s Healthy Boundaries Masterclass really brought some pivotal awarenesses to my mind. I appreciate the exercises she ran us through and the way it was able to help me realize things that I didn’t actually think I would have realized within the realm of boundaries. Looking forward to integrating what I realized! Thanks Alyssa!" - Michelle B
"The Don’t Kill My Vibe masterclass is phenomenal; It’s the most educational and thorough class for all empaths! I appreciated the way Alyssa explained what boundaries are, the different types of boundaries that we can put in place so that the people involved in our lives are aware of our relationship needs and expectations… The energy exercise was absolutely helpful to help me realize what/who drains my energy as well as what/who helps give me more energy… This class is super important to helping people who have never exercise healthy boundaries in their relationships and also for empathetic and super sensitive people, it creates a blueprint for your well being and those who interact with you. Thank you Alyssa for being an awesome teacher and helping your students learn to advocate our healthy needs in relationships of all type." - Stephany G
If better boundaries are calling to you, click below and you can get started right away with this powerful class!